Here are a couple of mine:

On my friend's birthday, "Let's all sing an off-key 'Happy Birthday.'"

My teacher attempting to draw the U.S:
Student: "Is that South America?"
Mr. D.: "Well..It was supposed to be the United States.."
Student: "Wow." And believe me, that was one ugly U.S. I guess you just had to be there..

My teacher has this background on the computer. It's this little island surrounded by ocean. Here's a conversation that went on between her and another student.
Ms. C: "Oh yeah, I live on that island."
Student: "Then where is your house?"
Ms. C: It's underneath that middle palm tree. There's a trap door.
Student: "Then is that your boat, too?" (There was also a boat in the picture )
Ms. C: "No, that's Abby's dad, delivering me groceries." (Not her real name, but her dad worked at a grocery store.)

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Actually, I have one single quote in the line to this thread.

"SIT DOWN NOW, Or you'll go to detention now!" -- 2/3 of my teachers say that ALL day to the bad guys. =P
The weird thing is, they sit 10% of the times, and in the 90% times, 10% go to detention. That means: Teachers lie alot :O

"Why don't you just beat me up, then?"

"I'm hungry. Here, go make some popcorn."

On Halloween:
Me: "Are you Scrooge?"
Mr. D: "No, I'm the Wizard from the Wizard of Oz."

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On halloween are teachers dressed up as business people. They were the T.I.B. Teachers in black.

Mr. M.- Hello students today we will be doing algebra.
Students- Ahh why do we have to do this Agent M. The way a kid said Agent M. Was just hysterical

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"Rule number 1 in my classroom, "The teacher is always right" Rule number 2 in my classroom, "If the teacher is wrong, see Rule number 1."

Lol I saw that in a book once. Except it was for a store thing.

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...is that a quote from one of your teachers ce2cece?

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Oh. She must have got it from that.

Well I can't remember any exact quotes.. SO let me try to think...
but there were a lot of times where he would say something and 2 girls in my class shouted We are apalled!

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NaNoWriMo word count: 1093/10,000