I found these on a site. I added some (and had to edit and delete one or two)






1. Frequently ask him about his bionic arm. When he goes WTH, slap yourself in the forehead and go ‘Oh, I’m thinking of a different Edward. The hot one from Full Metal Alchemist’. (FMA reference. Non-readers won’t get it.)

2. Drag him and Bella to the Twilight movie.

3. Afterwards, read him a 2-hour-long speech about how much hotter Robert Patterson is than him.

4. Cut your finger, then make a really big deal about the fact that it’s bleeding right in front of his nose.

5. Tell him that Jacob kissed Bella again.

6. Make sure you stress the fact that she kissed him back with equal passion.

7. Lock him in a room with Bella for enough time for him to get ‘hungry’. Hehehe….

8. Lock him in a room with your friends, who are crazed fangirls

9. Get your friends to stalk him obsessively.

10. When he tries to kill them say ‘Nuhuhuh. I’ll tell your daddy on you.’ In a really condescending voice while waggling your finger at him.

11. Make sure that the finger you waggle was cut beforehand and there’s blood on the end.

12. Smear Bella’s blood on his car freshener.

13. Tell him Jasper did it.

14. Frequently yell things to your friends, like, ‘Hey, Sarah! Do we have any blood orange juice?’, ‘Sarah, I just sliced my finger open with my butter knife. The blood’s going everywhere, could you get me a tissue?’ and ‘Cat, do you know where I can download a blood brush for Photoshop? I need it for one of my Dracula scenes.’

15. Talk about Halloween and stress the fact that you’re going as Bride of Dracula and need some fake blood and fangs.

16. Ask him to provide some for you.

17. Hold imaginary one-sided phone convos with famous vampires, i.e.:
“Hey, Drac! How’s it going? Oh, I’m glad. You what? How old? Six? You drank a six-year-old’s blood? Well, Carlisle wouldn’t be too pleased with you…Yeah, Edward’s right here. Oh, ok.”
Then pretend to put down the phone for a second and yell right in his ear,
“HEY, CEDWARD! DRACULA SAYS HI!!”

18. Just call him Cedward. All the time

19. When he tries to kill you, tut really loudly and yell ‘CARLISLE! I THINK HE MIGHT NEED THOSE ANGER MANAGEMENT COURSES WE TALKED ABOUT!!’

20. Knock him out (he doesn’t sleep, remember?), dye his hair black, and slick it back. Then, dress him in a dark cape and put fangs in his mouth, just like Dracula.

21. When he gets mad, tell him, “Bella likes more AUTHENTIC vampire types. That’s why she eloped with Dracula. I’m trying to get her to fall in love with you again,” and smile sweetly.

22. Call him a weakling for dying of the flu.

23. Phone him up and say, ‘Edward, I’m sick with the flu. Can you tell them at school, then get Carlisle to come over and change me before it gets too bad…’ in a really weak voice, and have a coughing fit straight afterwards.



24. Ask him why he doesn't laugh like Dracula

25. Paint his volvo hot pink.

26. Sing the Phantom Of The Opera except change Phantom to Vampire

27. Tell him Jane thinks he’s cute

28. Frequently wave a ketchup bottle in his face and ask ‘Want some blood?’

29. Pick a week, and on that week, avoid him as much as you can. Finally, let him corner you and ask why. When he does, reply, ‘I have bloody noses this week! Who knows what'll happen if I start to gush!"

30. Eye him suspiciously when he walks by. Throw garlic at him when he tries to talk to you.

31. Point a flashlight or two at him to see if he burns up.

32. Paint flames on he volvo and tell him you set it on fire to make a movie for a class project.

LOL! Hilarious. Edward loves his shiny volvo.

I had one, but now I forgot it.
OH yeah.

Bring him to an All You Can Eat buffet and tell him that he needs to eat everything we put on his plate or else we're never leaving.

I have a few more


Wear A Cape And Hiss At Him When He Looks At You Weird

Race Him Down The Stairs, Stay At The Top Of The Stairs While He Rushes Down, Then Say "Oh, Silly me, I ment A race up the stairs!"

These are hilarious!! I love them. Emailing them to every Twilight fan I know!!!

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Some of them were funny.

the web site is the twilight saga if u go to the twilight movie site and then go to links it's right there and hie golden eyes is another good twilight site thats listed there

I have a few more:

1. Get Alice to redecorate Edward's room.

2. Then write a note saying 'love, Rosalie.P.S.Did you forget that it was Renesme's birthday yesterday?!

3. Leave it on the floor of his bedroom.

4.Cheerfully watch his reaction.

5. Then run for your life.

Tip: you might be wondering where to run to. An ideal place would be Carlisle's office.

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Phrase/Quote of the week: I will treasure the day when a chicken can cross the road without its motives being questioned.

Haha those are really funny, but if i actually got to meet edward, i'd want him to like me and not annoy him. But id watch u guys do it! lol.

lol those are GREAT!!! i love them!

• Tell him Bella decided to marry Jacob instead and has turned into a werewolf
• Tell him Alice knew but didn't tell him
• Get Mike Newton and Bella in the same room and get him to come
• Tell him Jacob told Charlie he's a vampire and now Charlie will never let him see Bella again
• Tell him Renesme's name is weird
• Tell him Jasper 's thirsty and Bella's in the same room as him (hehehe)

Stephenie Meyer would be so proud of our imaginations

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